i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
