i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
