I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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