rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
