Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
