honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
