OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
