So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
