Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
