I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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