This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
