ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
