I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
3 2 1 whiskey
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
