How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
