i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
