i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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