i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
