my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
