why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
