why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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