I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
