If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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