God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
My feet surprised me
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
