I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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