dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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