it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
