She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
