Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
