he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
