Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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