so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
