she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
