worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
NoShamevember. You game?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
