What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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