Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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