So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
