He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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