I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
