im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
