I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
