Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
