I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
