I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
