Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I need to sanitize my soul.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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