woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
it's like iHOP with fire
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
