then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
it's like heaven, but drunker
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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