The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
