You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
