if you like me you must not know who I am
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
