My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
